Funny Animal

As Sarah and I prepare to move into our first house together, our apartment grows more and more stale and bare.  It's sad for us at times to see our first home slowly fade into boxes.  Additionally, the added task of packing has added to the stress of the season.  Ultimately, however, I've been thankful for God's presence in this time, as I think we're doing pretty good.

At least on the surface.

Although I may seem to be alluding to underlying tensions and destructive behaviors, I'm not.  We're safe.  But I do know that while we feel we're doing great with the task of moving, it is weighing on us heavier than we realize sometimes.  Sarah tells me every morning about the particular dream she had that night about the house--company, decorations, events, etc.  I on the other hand, usually wake up to hear stories, once again from Sarah, about the out loud conversations I was having in my sleep.  They are outrageous to hear about, and nearly as frequent as Sarah's house dreams.

But there's another thermometer we use to gauge the levels of stress in our home.  Our cat Gizmo.

When the cat gets freaky, we realize we might be carrying a little more stress than usual.  Again, we're not necessarily carrying the full weight of the world, but Gizmo is surely telling us there are a couple good-sized rocks in our packs.

So the cat is a little freaky these days.  Nightly sprints, morning sprints, anytime sprints--all around the apartment (no one's chasing her, I promise), lots of loud meows, bushy tails and army crawls arrive at the slightest sounds, and the occasional butterfly stomach sneaks up and causes her to give back her supper.

Poor cat.

But we figure if we can make it, so can she; and if she can, we can.  Here's to funny animals and our reactions to stress.


More to come!


Jason <><

Church Lesson!

This last Sunday concluded our first totally remade Vital Christianity and Covenant (VCC) class for membership and personal growth.  It was awesome!  Yes, it was the pilot class that will help us work out all the kinks for future classes, but nonetheless, I loved it.

It was based on relationships, why Horizons does things "backwards," what's going on in the world of theology and the church, and how God is so BIG.  Tons of Horizons people came and shared their stories, about how they lead, how they were saved, or what Horizons means to them.

Sure, we're pretty certain everyone who took the class learned a fair amount.  But I'm pretty sure I learned even more!

Even though my energy is pretty much spent by the time VCC is finished on Sunday afternoons, I've left each class beaming and smiling.  The conversations on tough topics, the laughter, the prayers being prayed for and between people who don't know each other very well, and the other leaders doing their things, give me large smiles and a lot to be thankful for.

In the process of this class, I also had the chance to hear from some of the original Horizons people--people who have been at the church exponentially longer than I have.  I've learned and relearned about the Spirit that drove trusting hearts to do something new.  I've discovered and rediscovered the passion of the church from the beginning to do things backwards--on purpose!  Because God called us to it!  I've learned more about the concerns and the passions of those making Horizons their new home, and I've learned about how God can bring together beautiful teams of leaders, teachers, hosts, and lunch servers.

After these six great weeks, I'm happy to say I passed the class and have grown much from it!   Amen.  Now this Sunday (the 16th) we'll witness several new Horizons people making their covenants with God in our ministry.  And it will be beautiful!


More to come!

Jason <><

Son of God

Sarah and I have been saving a Marcus Theaters gift card given to us at Christmas, and finally it felt like it was time to put it to use!

Of course, being a Pastor and Pastor's Wife combo, the only two logical options were Noah and Son of God (we actually do watch all kinds of movies, but laugh at our "nerdy" inclinations).  Not necessarily up for a Gladiator 300 with Russel Crowe, we opted for Son of God.

All in all, I applaud the effort and the final result.  It's a refreshed expression of a timeless savior--a renewed witness to God's gift to us and what Jesus may well have been like.  These are the efforts I believe will continue to welcome the lost and seeking and communicate God's love and truth to our current generations.  Amen to that!

I also enjoyed the film for the chance it gives us to see how we in our current day, with the stresses, challenges, and issues we're facing, are approaching and envisioning our God.  The character and being of God doesn't change, but how we see and relate to God changes how we see God (just like our parents often seem like the most short-sighted, unfair creatures on the planet until we start attempting to build our own homes or raise our own families).

From the movie, we can see that as creation we are seeking true connections, true hope, and love.  Less than we are craving one of absolute power and dominion and mystery, we're desiring to know and see a God who really gets us, who really faced the same things we do, and who struggled in the midst of his leadership.  This is the Jesus, the Son of God, portrayed on the big screen.  It's neither a false or correct portrayal because it's impossible to portray the full being of God.  But nonetheless, it's the Jesus many will come to know through the film.

My only disappointments with the movie were that the events are completely out of order and randomly compiled in the movie.  It was to the extreme that at one point Sarah leaned over to whisper "I didn't know that's when that happened.  I thought it was earlier," and my response being, "Yeah, it's not..."  Also, if anyone watched the Bible mini-series on TV, they'll recognize a significant portion of the series carefully placed throughout the story line.

Ultimately, I'm thankful the movie exists and they we had a chance to see it.  And I pray it'll be another mountain-moving mustard seed of a movie for many!


More to come!

Jason <><

Face-Hurting Smiles!

About a year ago, Sarah was asked if she'd be involved in a local program developed to help children with special needs work on critical movement skills through games and laughter.  Sarah immediately said yes.  Every Saturday she began playing, talking, and laughing with her young friends.  And every Saturday, she started coming back full of stories and smiles.

Not too long after Sarah started doing this, she was asked if she'd spend an extra hour on Saturdays coaching the Special Olympics basketball teams for their upcoming tournament.  Sarah genuinely knows very little about basketball.  But again, she quickly said yes and added to her Saturday and to her stories and smiles.

I have always been happy that Sarah decided to do this.  It's cool to see my wife's heart begin to flourish and to see her doing things she loves.  But Saturday mornings are usually pretty busy for me--premarital counseling, paperwork, etc. usually take my center stage.  Because Saturdays are pretty busy, I had never been to the facility or seen Sarah and her young friends in action.

But just this last weekend, the much-anticipated regional basketball tournament happened at Lincoln High here in Lincoln.  Sarah and her three teams were gearing up with the basics and supplements of the game, and Sarah studied the "actual" rules of the game to make sure she was up to speed.  At one point, Sarah asked if I thought I might be able to come to the games.  I quickly said yes, having already decided I could not miss this big event.

Sarah left early Saturday morning to get situated and get her teams together.  After a painful morning of organizing my pastor-tax mess, I jumped in the car to see the games and watch "Coach Kennedy" in do her thing.

It's been a long time since I've smiled so much.  It was easy, unnoticed, unhindered joy.  I watched haphazard dribbles, quirky passes, and shots that usually missed the rim and backboard, come one after another.  But regardless of performances, I saw smiles, determination, and pure enjoyment.  I watched a young coach with very little game experience cheer on her players and encourage them.  I watched as both teams often came together to make sure someone had a chance to shoot a basket, even if it took the player several repeated attempts in the middle of the game.  And as the occasional point was scored, I watched loving parents cheer and young athletes' faces light up.  There was very little ego on the floor; only a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

The games each lasted 20 minutes, and as I sat on the floor at the long end of the gym listening to the clock alarm announce the game's end, I realized how much my face hurt.  I had been smiling for 20 minutes at a time.  It was wonderful.  I fell in love with what Sarah was doing and in love with the joy of the athletes.  It was good to be there, and I left with a sore, but blessed set of cheeks.  Amen.

More to come!

Jason <><

Master of Joyful Critique

As Sarah and I prepared for our wedding, we noticed a particular pattern emerge that we laugh about now, but that challenged us quite a bit at the time.  Sarah would share a grand idea for the day with excitement and energy, and I would respond with the details that would need to be considered, that would usually lead us to conclude the idea wouldn't go.  Sarah would remind me she wished I would just be excited for once, and I would reminder her my role was to do the critical thinking that would keep us safe.  We understood this, but it wasn't working.

We jump ahead (almost) a few years later now, to the "buying our first home together" event.  Once again, Sarah shares her excitement and dreams about the home we both have agreed is our top choice, and once again, I respond with details to consider and reminders of reality.  And once again, my poor wife reminds me, "I know the details, but I'm excited.  Can you be excited with me?"  After hearing this on a few different occasions, I realized I needed to make a crucial change.

I come from a family of critical, grounded, and careful planners and thinkers.  As a rule in my family, our excitement for something needed to be equally matched by a list of cautionary points and reality checks.  That's how we knew we were moving forward in a wise, un-impulsive manner.  In general, this has served me very well in my personal, professional, and faithful life.  I recommend the practice to anyone who seems to have big ideas, but often ends up in messes instead.  

BUT, the practice of always offering overly-careful critiques and the need to minimize risk at all points can be equally as damaging as being too frivolous.  It runs the risk of killing the Spirit and minimizing God's blessing to a mere equation of risk and probabilities.  

I have most clearly learned this in the last week as we consulted our families for their thoughts on the house our hearts have locked onto.  Their opinions are crucial to us.  As our families came to see the house, we received mixed reviews:  some loved it, and others reported notes of caution and details on potential concerns.  We looked into the concerns and resolved nearly all of them.  Yet, the opinions of caution hadn't changed much, and they were weighing heavily on our decisions.  It was at that point I found myself uttering these words, "The details check out.  It would be nice if everyone could just be excited about this."  

Then it clicked.  I heard myself saying about others the very thing Sarah had been saying to me.  It's good to be critical and ask the tough questions.  It's good to dig into a decision with a keen eye.  But living in that world entirely will kill both the human and the Holy Spirit.  I was doing just that!  Contrarily, if we live solely by the book, we need to find the life of whimsy and welcome it.  If we live solely by the moment, we need to find the life of discernment and welcome it.

So now that Sarah and I both know the details of what we're up against with the house we like, I have learned the delicate art and joy of just dreaming and imagining.  It's wonderful.  I don't have to worry about the costs of things or the actual plausibility; nor do I even have to worry about things we talk about ever coming into reality.  We'll figure those things out as we go, as the Spirit leads.  

Until then, we'll dream; and it's wonderful!

More to come!

Jason <><

Growing Up

Most of last week Sarah and I were in Denver.  Sarah was there with some of her classmates on a "girls retreat," and I was there for my winter Alumni Board meetings for my seminary.

Usually when I head to Denver in the winter or fall for my board meetings, I conveniently find time to head to the slopes or tackle a 14er (a mountain reaching over 14,000 feet in elevation) while I'm there.  Both skiing and climbing are my passions.  I dream about skiing more consistently than any other theme in my dreams.  It's what I do, it's something I feel I'm particularly good at, and these trips are typically the only chance I get to ski or climb each year.

But this trip turned out differently.  I chose not to go skiing.  It was amusing watching my usual skiing buddies  who still living in Denver struggle with my decision.  "Are you sure?  I can get you a $40 lift ticket!  You can borrow a pair of my skis that should fit perfectly.  I'll drive; you don't have to worry about that.  Do you just want to go back-country skiing and not pay the lift prices?..."  Choosing NOT to ski is pretty out of character for me.

But I gave them my reasons, and as I heard myself sharing, a particular delight came over me.  I realized I was making really good, healthy, and wise choices, even if it meant giving up something for a season that has been central to my identity since I was four.  I was taking care of myself and my family.  In that moment I was feeling awfully grown up!

These are the reasons I didn't go skiing this year:

• Sarah and I will be purchasing a house this spring.  If we're truly committed to this, we need to let our savings show that.  It may be small, but $300 extra went into our house fund this week!
• Life for Sarah and me is often quite intense in Lincoln, and simply moving from one intensity to another was going to be unhelpful.  Simply slowing down and being with friends appealed much more.
• Sarah has only skied once before and wasn't terribly interested.  Actually spending time with my wife rather than leaving her for the slopes was a choice I really needed to make.
• The temperature high on the slopes for the days we were there was projected to reach -2 degrees Fahrenheit.  Enough said. 

Although I had yet another skiing dream just last night, I'm still thankful I had the insight not to go this year.  There will be other times and days yet to come, and Sarah and I benefited from the time together.  Amen!

More to come!

Jason <><

Broncos, Where did You Go?

I grew up a Broncos fan.  I'm still a Broncos fan.  I'll remain a fan even now, after the game is over.

Of course I won't pretend to know anything about the internal game or challenges a team faces in a Superbowl situation, under that sort of pressure.  But as I watched the Broncos fall apart yesterday, some thoughts came to mind:

• Although a Superbowl game is a little more polarized in terms of who wins and who loses, in many ways the Broncos' and Manning's loss remind me of how so many people perceived Jesus' activity among the same way we do Manning's.  The primary reaction during the game in the group I was with was "I think the Broncos forgot to put this game on their calendars."  How many of the Jews and Pharisees were also thinking the same thing with Jesus?  They constantly asked for signs, wondered when the revolution was actually going to start, and asked why he wasn't saving himself if he was so powerful.  For many, Jesus didn't seem to show up to the game.  I think many might feel as though he isn't showing up to the game now either.  I'm pretty sure the Broncos didn't choose to lose yesterday so they could make a deeper, more profound statement.  But I'm also pretty sure that Jesus DID and DOES.  It's up to our deeper-discerning hearts to see what that statement and activity is.
  
• As I made direct, eye-to-eye contact with Peyton Manning during the game, thanks to the assertive close-ups from the camera crew, I wondered what it felt like to be the man shouldering the win or loss of the game, and what it would be like today for him (the day after).  How do you wake up the next day?  Where do you go?  Who do you talk to?  Who, what, where do you avoid in an effort to maintain some sort of dignity and composition?  It's true most of us don't regularly find ourselves in one of the biggest single sporting events of the year.  But many of us DO find ourselves feeling as though we're shouldering the weight of the big win or loss when it comes to our jobs, our families, our finances, our health, etc.  As a pastor, the thought of losing the game is one of the most terrifying fears.  Yet, each of us is called to keep our dignity, embrace our losses, and find solace in that pain, knowing it has not cost us our whole life if our lives are in Christ.  But I often wonder, where does a person start when trying to keep this truth?
  
• Lastly, I realized toward halftime I shouldn't have made fun of the Seahawks yesterday (Feb 2) in my message.  Revenge is too sweet for some to pass up.  Oops.

More to come!

Jason <><