Grace is Getting Bigger

In the busy seasons of life, I often get to Sunday feeling somewhat "unfit" for the day.  Ever felt that way?

Part of it comes from busyness itself and not taking enough time with God.  Part of it comes from being distracted or engulfed by other life activities--from events to vacation to projects at home.  Part of it comes from simply being human and reveling too much in the most recent mistakes and shortfalls.

Don't get me wrong.  I love Sundays, and while I love the opening worship, I am typically so excited to teach and engage God's Word I can hardly stand waiting any longer.  God does brilliant things from the Horizons "pulpit!"  But nevertheless, those feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy still flood into the corners and cracks, whether they are valid or not.  Somewhere in the midst of the morning a voice in my heart asks if I really deserve to be representing God.

I know this is spiritual warfare.  This is the message Satan is hoping for us to hold onto in our biggest moments when our potential for the Kingdom is highest.  I also know this is accountability as well.  Arrogance and pride will wreck a servant's heart as quickly as any other drug.

But today what hit me is how God's grace is growing in my life in the midst of these situations.  At times I've struggled with what grace is in its depth.  Grace has been difficult for me to define or pinpoint in my personal walk at many points.

The truth is though, through this struggle, grace in my life is getting bigger and more tangible.  Every Sunday, before each service, I take a moment to fall on my knees behind the stage and say these simply words, "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.  Let all of what you make out of today be for you, not for me."

And then God does what God intended to do with me, my words, my stories, my insights into His word.  God doesn't worry about how worthy I am.  God simply chooses to use me for His purposes.

As I sit down after delivering a message, I often look at my wife Sarah, give her big eyes about what just happened on the stage, and whisper "God is crazy good!"  After all, God is daily trying to remind us, "...my grace is enough for you because power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9).

Grace.  Simple as that.



More to come!