Everything Obsessed?

It was close to a perfect day, and most everything had gone my way.  I was feeling so good about things.  What a shame...

Shame?  The sages of our worldly wisdom are shaking sticks at me:  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth..."

This is what happened to me last Wednesday that led me to this post:

Last night Sarah and I were given tickets to a concert that another couple was no longer able to attend.  This morning, I found a steal of a deal on a pumpkin (Sarah loves fall.  Sarah will love the pumpkin.), I found the pair of gloves I've been searching for over a week now, and consequently, I found the shorts I bought on the honeymoon and then thought I had lost forever!  I rolled up to the coffee shop, only to be awarded a free coffee that someone else decided he/she was in too much of a hurry to wait for (soy latte.  In case it was yours, sorry for the wait; thanks for the coffee).  And now I'm at the coffee shop, feeling ready and competent to tackle the world!

What a day!  and shame on me...  

I'll be thankful for this day.  I need to be.  It's a beautiful gift horse indeed!

But what about those days when not everything goes well?  What about those days when not every turn renders another unexpected blessing?  What about the days before finding my gloves and shorts that I spent obsessively and relentlessly searching, unsatisfied and unwilling to move on?

In the back of my mind, the world wasn't right again until I found those shorts and gloves.  And admittedly, the days when things don't seem to come together are the days when I have a harder time seeing how good my God is, and how alive Jesus still is, all around and within me.  Shame on me.

YET, Jesus tells a parable about the shepherd who leaves all the rest to find the one sheep that wandered off.  Jesus tells a parable about a woman who sweeps her house clean again and again until she finally finds her lost coin.  Jesus is saying, "No shame there."  Hmmm...  So now what?

Maybe, like most of us, I live in a world that is half right, and half wrong.  Half heavenly, and half hellish.  Half healing, half falling apart.  Half way to reaching Christ (finally),and  half way to our own quick, final destruction.

What I mean is that my day and my excitement reflect both the best and the worst of living my faith.  My obsession over material goods, my joy in the midst of fickle pleasures and satisfactions while the rest of the world continues to ache and hurt with REAL loss, my unwillingness to rest until something has been completed:  these aren't so good.  BUT here's the bright side.  I have the right habits.  I have the eyes to see the blessings around me.  I have what it takes to endure through the challenges in order to find what I'm looking for.  Amen!

Now I just need to refocus them.  Now I just need to make my obsession count for the kingdom.  I need to see the blessings on the days when everything good is everything that's harder to recognise.  Now I just need to wallow in the dissatisfaction of a hurting world rather than the agony of a lost pair of gloves. 

Shame on me.  But at least I'm on my way.  Jesus assures me of this.

More to come!


Jason <><

Pastor, Go Get a Vision!

As it turns out, and to my delighted surprise, I DO have a vision, a dream, a direction.  But it seems as though having a vision or being one who can set a vision and implement it is far more complex than some make it to be.

Truth be known, just like in other avenues of the working and moving world, pastors and churches also need good visions, good goals, and a clear idea of where both are headed.  Of course, the church and the leadership role of a pastor still differ greatly from the business institution and worldly leader in that faith, submission, and selflessness trump over strategy, gain, and personal rewards.  But it is also worth pointing out that if any businesses or institution, or any leader, religious or not, wishes to succeed, there must be a vision for what needs to happen.  There needs to be direction that everyone can sink their teeth (or heart) into.

I've read enough books now that I no longer think the concept is strange or foreign.  They say that a pastor with a vision is like a dog wagging his tail when someone mentions the "w-a-l-k" word.  I completely get it and agree that a pastor should have that.  Why not??  How exciting!  However, in my reading and studying, even as of fairly recently, when I came to those sections in books that pushed me to think about what my vision is for the setting that I am in, I often fell short of feeling like I had one that quickened my heartbeat and made me drool a little (or a lot).

In fact, early on here at Horizons (it's still technically early, but even earlier than now), many asked me what my vision for Horizons was.  I can still remember the uneasy feeling of thinking in my heart, "Oh no...  I'm being asked what my vision is, and I don't know if I have one."  I was a little concerned.  Will I ever have a vision for Horizons???  I hoped so.

But now the months have continued to fly, and as I continued to get more settled and geared up for what's ahead, I'm looking around at my conversations, my choices, my daydreams, and I'm shocked, and pleased, to see and feel that I have a vision.  I know now where God has called Horizons to go.  I know now what God has put on my heart and on the hearts of this ministry to accomplish and see happen.  And I'll be the first to tell you that I have needed to clean up some drool and return some lamps to the upright position!  It's exciting!  Thank goodness no heart monitors were hooked up to me recently!

So what IS my vision??  Why didn't I have one from the start??

The second comes first.  From day one at Horizons, I was told that before I could start casting my own vision, I first needed to join the church in casting their vision.  After some time, I then could begin to transition from the church's into my own.  That seemed fair enough for me.  But I realized along the way that it's not quite that simple.  Instead, the last 3 and half months of my time at Horizons has been a beautiful pouring of two vibrant and complementing colors into the same pool.

Horizons has poured all they are into my life and heart, and I'm seeing myself do the same.  I've learned much about the church, the numerous leaders and contributors, and an exciting history of miracles and efforts.  And, God bless Horizons, the church too has taken the time to learn more about me and hear about my life, dreams, and faith.  And I believe that because of this mutual pouring AND praying AND submitting our lives to God's leading, we have come to see OUR vision.  Not the church's, not mine, but GOD'S that has created for us.

I see now what Horizons has already AND what it needs.  I see now what Horizons can do AND what it needs to do more of.  I've seen where we've been AND where it is essential that we go.  I've also seen what I have that meets what Horizons can use.  I've seen how God has led me to exactly the right places along the way so that as I join Horizons, we'll have everything we'll need.  And, I've seen how we have all begun to respond and awaken to what God is doing and how God is moving at Horizons.  I have a VISION and it's ours together:  Horizons', God's, mine!

So what's my vision for Horizons?  I don't want to spill too much at once, but this is what I can say:  Horizons grew up on HOME Groups.  They've been central and core to who we have become.  Those HOME Groups are the primary way that God has kept this community alive and as vibrant as it is.  I believe in small groups, and I know that we will see them grow and flourish in even greater ways.  I also know that Horizons' Mission is NOT broken.  It is because of our mission to lead seekers and doubters to transformation in Christ that there is so much energy and hope inside and outside of these walls.  I am thrilled about our mission, and I see now that all we need to do is focus a little more on the "leading" portion.  If we all were once seekers and doubters who have been transformed in Christ, then isn't the next step for each of us to grow into the leaders who will walk with others, just as someone once walked with us?

You see?  I do have a vision!  WE have a vision:  HOME Groups and Christian Leadership--all for the transformation of our lives and others' lives in relationships with Jesus Christ.  This is just the beginning, but it's a feast we'll be long gathered at the table enjoying.

Here's to vision and the One who speaks to our hearts so that we have it!  Amen.


More to come...

Jason <><

Why I Missed the Game

What??  Jason didn't watch the Husker game?  The reason runs deeper than me being fickle, but wayward enough to be funny.

Over the years, one complaint of nearly every pastor in Nebraska is about the Husker game that happens every weekend in the worship center or sanctuary.  There is the game on Saturday, and then there is the game on Sunday to see whether the Huskers or the church can capture more of an audience.  Pastors often comment and share sentiments like this in their pastor-friend circles:

"If the Huskers lose, nobody come to church!  If the Huskers win, too much celebrating; nobody comes to church.  If it's an away game, everyone travels to the game; nobody comes to church.  If it's a night game, we might as well have church in the stadium; nobody comes to church.  If it's a byeweek, everyone is trying to get married, run marathons, and take fall trips to Ireland; nobody comes to church..."

When I'm in these circles, I chuckle and nod my head.  A lot of it is true.  But I'm not one to buy into trends like these that explain or excuse certain behaviors.  For example, they say that Pastors need to "time down" and "activity up" the sermon because attention spans are much shorter these days.  In other words, make them shorter and action packed.  But I don't buy it, and I won't employ the trend to explain why people aren't seeming to engage with my sermon.  Most of us went to see the 3+-hour marathon "Hunger Games," loved it, didn't blink the entire time, and now have it at home to watch over and over again.  People can play video games for days straight.  Are our attention spans shortening, or are we engaging in different ways?

So, I don't buy a lot of things that explain or excuse the trends.  Instead, I'm a firm believer that if church is powerful and meaningful enough, if Jesus is present and lives are truly being changed every Sunday, then heck! even the Huskers will start showing up on Sunday!  Same thing for my messages:  if they really matter, are truly guided by the Spirit, and are relevant (among other things), people won't struggle to pay attention.  It'll be Hunger Games every Sunday!

But here's why I missed watching the game on TV this last Saturday:  I bought it.  I fell into it.  As the game got going, I felt the usual panic creep in that the Huskers might not win.  I'm a firm believer that the Huskers never win in the 1st half, but when the ball fell in the third quarter and gave more points to the Badgers, here's the thought that crept into my mind:  "I can't face the agony of watching them loose.  It'll completely take all of my fire and enthusiasm away from tomorrow's message!"

They say that Nebraska's economy spikes after a win, that there are fewer cases of domestic violence, and some even claim that a victory can produce rain.  Apparently, a win or loss can EVEN affect the quality of a preachers message...  Yeah, I bought it.  But now that I've written about it here, I'm taking it back to the store.  I don't want it.

Instead, I'll keep my old mentality:  when it comes to our faith and the way we serve our living God, NOTHING should stir us or shake us from doing what we do--Pastor OR parishioner!

More to come!

J <><  

3 Months is Pretty Sweet

Although this won’t post until “three months and a day,” I wanted to make sure these words came out on the very day of three months!  Three months?  Of what?

Sarah (my wife) and I have been married exactly three months today (this Sunday)!  It’s been very good, and at least at this point, I can confidently affirm and recommend the institution of marriage to any daring couple considering the next step.  Do this!  Hang on for the ride of your life, but do this!

I’m sure many will chuckle and say “Of course it’s been sweet.  Three months hasn’t been enough time for the real relationship to settle in.” 

But let me tell you what’s been sweet about this whole marriage thing and these infantile three months:

• ·         Sarah and I feel that we had both been waiting all our lives to be in union with the other—before we even met.  We were simply waiting for the other to come along in life and light up our lives the way we do.  Thus, regardless the tension or the stress that creeps along in our home from time to time, any night that we lay our heads down under the same roof is far better and more blessed than any alternative.

• ·         In three short months, given all the “delightful extras” God has put in our life, we have successfully pushed and led each other much further into our Christian lives than we could have gone alone.  Sometimes it’s because of those miracles that we witness between us, and sometimes it’s because of the deep theological conversations we have while driving in the car or sitting across from each other at the study table.  But other times it’s because of the elevated need for prayer at times, or because of need to seek God’s counsel and resolution in the midst of challenging moments.  Sometimes it’s because we have the chance to pause for a moment and wonder exactly what God was thinking when he picked us for each other. 

• ·         It’s also been sweet because in the midst of running to separate lives, either in Omaha or south Lincoln, early each day and returning late each night, we have learned to give 100%, to rely on each other to carry the other’s load of responsibilities, and we’ve learned to love each other no matter what state our house is in.  We’ve also learned to catch the beautiful, charming moments of our life together, even though they are often in flight like the activity of finches always coming and going.  

• ·         There are other sweet things about three months as well, but you get the idea. 

Sarah and I don’t know much about marriage, but we know that there is much, much more to come.  We are simply thankful to start off in such a way that begins building a strong foundation for the days to come—both beautiful and trying.  We are also thankful that we had the chance to put Jesus in the middle of who are as a couple from the very beginning.  Through Christ, all things are possible—whether it is 3 months, 300 months!  Amen.

More to come…

J <><

So (too?) Eager!

"Here!  Take my card!  Come see what it's like!"

That's what I keep shouting with excitement to others, and especially strangers, lately.  Sarah has made several notes about my new habit--commenting on the level of "smoothness" verses the level of "creapiness" or "sleezyness" in my approach, timing, and handoff.  

My what I like to call "church cards" finally came in last week, and I have been very eager to pass them out to others.  Obviously, there's little difference between my "church" card and a business card.  A lot of people would probably argue that the whole concept of handing out a card with contact information in regard to Church is altogether too much a business thing.  

But here's the deal:  I love my church cards.  They're attractive and useful, and I know that when others see them, they're going to see and find only good things!  But here's what I love even more than my cards:  Horizons.  

I don't know what people know about Horizons already or what they've already seen.  All I know is what I see right now, and I love it.  I love seeing and feeling how heavy, powerful, and productive the Spirit is in this place right now.  I love hearing on a daily basis how peoples' lives have been changed, reawakened, or affected in beautiful ways.  I love feeling the energy of passion, compassion, hope, and Christ-desire coming off of others as we worship, gather, and share together.  I love seeing where we're headed and where we can go because of the faith that is present.  

When I go to trainings and seminars for pastors, the speaker will often ask us whether, if we were free to choose and make our own call, we'd actually go to the churches where we serve.  It's a good and sometimes cutting question for pastors.  The answer is not always yes.  It makes each of us think.  But this is what I know for sure:  if Sarah and I were to go church shopping and pick where we wanted to go and grow, Horizons would be a top runner.  I'd go here!!  

Is it just because I have an enormous ego about my own pastor abilities?  Hardly.  I might be a little caught off guard by me if I were to walk in and see "that guy" being pastor.  What draws me most is seeing and feeling what's going on at Horizons and who's got it going on spiritually!

And so I get excited.  And when I run into someone, you can be guaranteed that whether it's appropriate or good timing at all, my church card will start flying out of my back pocket.  "Here!!  Take my card.  Come see what it's like!"

I am making no attempt to boast.  But honestly, I think this is how it's supposed to feel for all of us as Christ followers--so excited and convicted that we've simply lost the social filter that helps us see the right timing or appropriateness.  I firmly believe that when Jesus gets in and starts working in us, relighting our lives, we can't help but tell others!  

So join me!  There are a lot of free "business card" services online that will print cards for you. Share with others your faith, your Horizons home, your changed life.  Put your light on a hill and let it shine!

More to come...

J <>< 

Why Be Methodist? Top 3

It's not the first time someone has asked me why I am United Methodist, or why have I stayed in the Methodist system.  In fact, we used to ask each other all that time in seminary--often tauntingly, sometimes jokingly, and once in a while, quite seriously.

Why do I stay?  Why am I a United Methodist?  Lists seem to get to get the most views, so I'll proceed in such a manner.  But first, it might be helpful to note that if I can actually keep my list to three, I'll be demonstrating John Wesley's power to be concise and yet meaningful in his teachings.  If I fail to have just three, I'll rely on the grace upon which much of Wesley's theology also rested.

1. I was born a Methodist, so why not??  Some have heard me say that I'll be Methodist until I have sufficient reason not to be.  But I suppose there might need to be more than that.
   
2. Grace.  Wesley believed it was indeed true that the "grace was always greener on the other side."  We understand that there's God's grace before we know God, certainly as we accept Christ, and (which is rare) that after we are saved, the grace keeps growing in us, bringing us closer and closer to Christ.
   
3. Free Will!  This is the idea that not everything is set in stone for our lives.  We make real choices that matter--to our lives,to others' lives, and certainly to our relationship with Jesus.  In fact, God's love for us and our love for God can only be real if there is this element of free choice.  (If love were forced, it defeats what love really is.)
   
4. Care for our neighbor.  The Methodist Church is at the top of those who selflessly give, love, protect, and support others.  It's beautiful to see Jesus' parable of the good Samaritan be lived into so passioinately by a body of believers.
   
5. In short, Wesley also believed in putting it simply:  Do Good. Do No Harm. Stay in Love with God.  He also proposed 4 sources or norms for our faith foundation:  Scripture, Tradition, Experience, and Reason.  I'd put prayer in there too, but I wasn't asked. This is a list of where we go for direction, what's our foundation, and what lenses we look through to view the world and our faith.  Lastly, Wesley also said concerning money:  Earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can.  Brilliant!
   
6. But the REAL question is, why not believe in all the Wesley stuff, but leave the rest behind?  (especially if it makes me move to new places even if I don't want to.)  Truth is:  the Methodist church nurtured and supported my faith from the day I was said to be "9 months away."  If it weren't for that kind of love, I don't know what kind of pastor I would be.  It was the church that walked with me until I saw my call.  It was the church who journeyed along my side as I learned what it meant to be a pastor.  It listened to me, taught and challenged me, it supported me with tens of thousands of dollars for my education, it embraced me, trusted me, gave me opportunities, and has always made sure that I am still growing and still being challenged.  I don't know how others might see it, but what I just described reminds me a lot of how Jesus would be like if he were among us today in person.
   
7. Finally:  My response to how I feel about not being able to decide how long I'll stay at a church or where I'll go next is as follows.  I knew from the beginning it would be like this.  Personally I desire it, although I know it has the potential to make things harder painful for a season.  But the way I see it is that this is my opportunity to give my life fully to Christ, to trust that God is fully in control of my call, and to see myself more as a missionary, being sent and serving wherever, rather than me choosing what I believe is the absolute best for me.  

Wesley always said to his congregations:  to "Think and let think."  It refers to the open community of thoughts and spiritual intuitions that are allowed to thrive in a place of diversity and unity both.  As you can see, I like it, and have thought and thought and thought--although it might be different from what another Methodist pastor may think.

J <><

Help. Top 6!

A question asked of me the other day was where, as a Pastor, do I go when I need help, am struggling with faith questions, or simply don't know.  Great question.  Luckily, although I am a pastor and do feel uniquely called and equipped to serve God in this leadership role, I am still human, and much like the rest of us.  There are a lot of times when I don't know, don't have the answers, or simply need to get a second opinion.  We have to go somewhere!

The only place I try not to go, but often consider going, is inside and away.  I think that one of the worst, yet fairly popular notions we buy into today is that we all our own heroes, that we all have the stuff it takes to be the shining star or our own epic success stories.  We call it the rugged individual, the self-made man/woman, or the diamond in the rough.  But the truth is that we were called to succeed in community, in togetherness.  Otherwise, Jesus wouldn't have called 12, and then 72, and then millions to do his work.  Otherwise, man and woman, family, and churches would not have been part of the plan.  From the very beginning, we would've been out on our own, making the world a better place, solving all our and only our problems.  But this simply isn't the case.

So, where do I go?  To whom do I go?

1. Prayer.  God needs to hear that I'm lost.  God needs to see me come before him in my moments of humility, despair, and confusion.
   
2. Scripture.  It's the foundation I stand upon.  But I rarely go searching by index or google search for scripture to speak specifically to my needs.  I feel like that's forcing what I want to hear--like looking for something to satisfy what I already think I need to hear.  But I don't blindly pick a spot either.  I'm always on a reading schedule, so I usually just read the next chapter or section and read until I feel I need to stop.  God has a mysterious and powerful way of speaking to us through his word, regardless of what the words say exactly.
   
3. Wife.  Sarah is my sounding board for most of life and faith.  She hears it, thinks about it, throws it back at me.  Often she'll respond in just the right ways, as God leads her to.  Other times, she'll also has no clue.
   
4. Fellow Pastors.  I have a covenant group with some other pastors.  We often have wisdom for each other, even if that wisdom simply flows out of our re-hashing the question or situation.  They're essential to be connected to.
   
5. Friends.  YOU might be the one who God chooses to speak through.  We never know.  I trust that God is fully capable of working good through anyone.
   
6. Books.  A quote I picked up on once was that "If you want a new idea, read an old book."  It's very true.  All wisdom started first with God.  From there, we pick it up, build upon it, move on from it, and often need to revisit it.  The point when we've forgotten is the point when we need to go back and remember.  

LASTLY, there are some answers that aren't supposed to be known.  There are some questions that no answer will suffice.  Mystery is sacred.  Not knowing keeps us searching, keeps us from building up our own pride, keeps us from isolating ourselves (Isaiah 6:9-11).  There are those moments when, even as a spiritual leader, I own that I don't know.  Then I draw near to God.  Those are very spiritual moments.

Thanks for asking!  

J <><