Hey, YOU Asked! Q&A #2

Last week I had a chance to reflect on some of my fears, based on a question asked to me on my questions card.  What a scary task that was!  This week I'll go through several questions.  Perhaps life is about answering questions.  But perhaps life is about living through questions that teach us and cause us to grow through asking more questions.  Does that make any sense?

1. "Do you have any pets?  Do you like animals?"
   
   Yes and yes!  Of course, as I stated last week, I have a healthy respect for animals, especially if I believe a particular animal has a secret motive to bite me.  Animals are great teachers, companions, and distractions (whether wild or domesticated).  I like big dogs that like to run.  I like cats most of all.  I became the owner of my cat Gizmo (grey, medium haired female, about 7 yrs) about 2 years ago now.  She came to me, pre-named, by way of being passed off from house to house for the last months.  Her owner was suffering from many addictions in his life, and his body was beginning to shut down.  He didn't have a permanent home and spent most of his time in and out of the hospital.  The one constant in his life was his friend Gizmo.  No matter which hospital or friend's apartment he was in, he could count on Gizmo being allowed to come on the weekends and sitting on his chest.  Gizmo is a very affectionate cat and prefers to cuddle, but she's also very timid and easily frightened.  She had worn out her welcome at all of her owner's friends' places, and was currently staying in a locked bathroom in a basement until her weekend stays at the hospital.  That's the point at which I was approached with the simple, rushed words, "do you need a cat!?"  I knew Sarah wanted a cat, but I told her that there was no getting one until we were married.  But here was my opportunity.  I said yes, as it was labeled a "temporary" situation until her owner could get better.  Gizmo came and lived with me on the weekdays and with her owner on the weekends.  That lasted for 4 months until her owner's body eventually gave away.  Since then, Gizmo has grieved, but moved on.  She's much less clingy these days, but still loves to be close, held, and played with.  She keep Sarah and me smiling and laughing, and honestly, she has been one of the greatest gifts to me--a patient, furry, vessel of God's eminent love for me.
   
2. "What motivates you?"
   
   Challenges motivate me--whether they are of the "impossible" nature or of the "daunting" nature, I tend gravitate toward the things that shouldn't be possible, or that look rather difficult.  This applies to my faith, to church, to my personal hobbies and free time.  I'm a daredevil and an adrenaline seeker.  Sarah says I'm lucky to be alive.
   
   I'm also motivated by love.  Nothing is better than to have a chance to love someone else, to be loved by someone else, to help others love each other, and most powerfully, to see others find Jesus' love and a personal love for Jesus.
   
   Life in general motivates me.  I love the energy found in a crowd; I love the simple sight of people coming alive for a reason or a passion.  I love feeling alive--whether I'm running, skiing, hiking, driving, swimming, worshiping, praying, or driving with the windows down and the music (way) up.  I love being alive in Christ and my creator, feeling the Holy Spirit rushing through me like a hurricane.
   
   I am a worker and a servant, and so I am also motivated by getting things done and helping others!

I am surprised by how much I have written in just two responses.  I'll save a little for latter.  Thank you all for your love and passion last weekend for the Concert on the Hill!!

Jason <><

Q&A #1: Terrified! Spiders, etc.

For the next couple of blogs, I'll be sharing thoughts and responses to questions asked to me in my "listening tour."

A great question to get started with is "What are you afraid of?"

1. Spiders, snakes, squirrels, mice, other rodents, small dogs, and anything that looks like it could bite or sting pretty hard.  I know.  This list is unrealistic.  But, I have been bitten by several small dogs while making home visits.  I don't know why.  But, those bites are enough to make me afraid.  And the squirrels in Bellevue were simply aggressive.  They were terrifying.  As far as spiders go, however, I like to push myself to touch, hold, or let them crawl on me, as a small effort to confront my fears.
   
2. I have a mild aversion to those who enjoy arguing for the sake of debating a point.  It's most likely because I'm too close to the issue or care too much.  I'm afraid of getting caught crying far too much at a movie that really isn't that sad.
   
3. I'm afraid of being wrong or incompetent, or appearing as though I don't know something that I should.
   
4. As for my leadership at Horizons, my initial fear is that I won't have the proper training, force, or skill sets to be an effective leader and pastor.  But then I shake myself and realize that what I need to be afraid of is that I'll get so ingrained in the idea that the success of this ministry is on my shoulders and that I'm the one who is responsible for making it work, rather than fully submitting myself to God and working for God's glory.  God is the One who called me to Horizons, who created me and my journey leading up to this point in Horizons' ministry life.  It's not really up to me and my skill sets.  Like Paul says, when I weak, then I am made strong (2 Cor. 12:10).  Furthermore, it is God who decides how, when, and at what points on the road that Horizons will succeed.  I simply wish to offer my life as a vessel for God's work.
   
5. These are some of the things I could and would be afraid of, if it weren't for my relationship with Jesus:  not having enough money, losing my possessions to theft, misuse, or disaster, losing those close to me, getting into an accident that would severely change the course of my life, living through the next "great depression," the rapture, evil spirits, the "foreigner," etc.
   
6. These are some of the things I should be afraid of, but to my own, and especially Sarah's dismay, I am not:  getting sick from food, getting sick from shaking sick peoples' hands, getting in an accident, having to survive in the wilderness with no supplies, talking to strangers, speaking publicly when not prepared, asking for directions, blood, the sight of others' injuries, fire, expired/spoiled food, picking my nose hairs in public, singing in front of strangers, etc.
   
7. I am currently unsure whether I am afraid of what you, my reader at the moment, might think of this post or of me after finishing.  I'm afraid I'll have to get back to you on this last one.

Jason <><

A Top 10!

This probably doesn't qualify as a top ten list.  Maybe it's 10 musings.  But they're all about the journey, the joys, the adventures, and the great people.  And in classic Jason Kennedy style, there are more than 10.  Go figure :-)

1. I almost have a clean desk!  It's my 6th week, starting today.  My desk has undergone several transformations.  Right now, it's almost clean.  But, I have a feeling it's going to go through another phase called the "brain hurricane."  Good luck desk...
   
2. Prayer, prayer, prayer.  Everybody's praying!  I've found myself praying more than I'm taking gulps from my water pitcher.  The staff keep talking about praying about things.  There's a whirlwind surge of prayers coming across the horizons for a Horizons man needing healing.  Jamie couldn't stop praying this last Sunday.  The only way the message came together last Sunday was through some deep knee-aching prayer.  Amen?
   
3. Bibles!  I love the startled look that I still get every once in a while when I say "open up your Bibles."  We're all getting used to this, but it's been a huge foundation for us all.  I see people with heads down getting deep into the word at hand during the service.  I see the pile of Bibles at the information center gradually going down.  People timidly come and ask if it's okay to use iPhones, Droids, or tablets during the service. Are you kidding me?  Go for it!
   
4. Shorts, sandals, t-shirts.  As cool, young, hip, energetic, etc. as I have pulled off looking up to this point, I've never preached in shorts, t-shirts, or sandals at a main service before Horizons without there being some "extra special reason."  It's a blast!  But wait until I put some robes on for fun.  Or not...
   
5. A van full of fun?  I had the chance to drive the second van to Schlitterbaun Water Park in KC this last Thursday.  I'm sure Nicole had that talk with the youth:  "look, you can't all ride in my van.  some of you are going to have to ride with Jason..."  Well, I think it went pretty well.  No one knows what to think of me the first time something blurps out of my mouth.  No one knows quite what is going on the first time I (safely) burst into dance to a Top 40 song on the radio I probably shouldn't know and/or like (being a pastor and all).  Not even my own, poor wife knew what to do with her husband.  "Who are you?"  She asked with a half-smile.  :-)  We talked; it's all good. 
   
6. A hallway full of MOVE.  Word got out that our sermon series was MOVE.  And then, word got loose and exploded all over the DZ and BOB hallways!  There is MOVE all over the walls and floors and ceilings!  I love it--wish we could do that to the entire building, and maybe individual's vehicles.
   
7. Bible studies, digging.  There is no doubt in my mind that Horizons is starving to go deeper.  I don't think anyone cares whether they are a seeker, a doubter, a seat-warmer, distracted youth, or builder.  Nearly every person I've talked to has expressed the need for us to go deeper!  I've started to see small groups and boys groups and other groups start going there. It's a beautiful thing.  My nickname in college used to be "Deep."  I think my friends were annoyed.  But here, it's okay to be me!
   
8. Never-ending button.  The button that showed up on my desk half way through VBS that says "Why yes, I am the Pastor.  Really."  Is now on display on my desk.  It's quite fitting, and continues to be.  Everyone once in a while I still get mistaken for a grandchild, youth, or recent college grad.  No worries.  I love it, and God can use it!  Really.
   
9. Startled faces with names!  For a new guy, there's nothing sweeter than a directory full of names and faces.  Thank you to all you participated in Horizons' last directory.  There's nothing more enjoyable for me than chasing after people I've never met and calling after them by name.  NOBODY knows what to say when that happens!  For the rest of you, keep me guessing.  By God's grace, we'll get it.
   
10. Grace and gumption.  No matter how God is blessing my memory right now with faces and names, I still make a lot of mistakes and have to keep asking again and again.  But GRACE, even in this rather superficial way, is alive!  Thank you all who have gracefully reminded, even though I should know by now.
    
11. Jesus prevails!  The funny thing about the cycles in a Pastor's week is that it never fails:  Monday is sluggish and sporadic, Tuesday is deep and intense, Wednesday is supper energized, Thursday is end of the office-week stroll, and Friday - Saturday begin the days of getting nervous, anxious, and curious about how Sunday is going to go.  But by Sunday afternoon, Sarah and I are reflecting, often in near tears, as we recall how beautiful God is and how much God is moving at Horizons, no matter the anxious doubts and moments of insecurity.  Jesus is walking, step by step, with us.  We just have to see it and TRUST it!
    
12. I forgot.  I had one more that I was going to jot down as I was typing the above list.  But now that I'm finally here, I've forgotten what it was.  Like most things I'd like to remember, I should have written it down.  
    
13. Thank You!  to all of you who are taking the time and effort to care for the Horizons building!!  You're beautiful people!

Desperate Church Guy!

There is a desperate relationship with Jesus, a connection with God, that each of us should yearn for in our lives.  It's one of the greatest places to be--desiring (desperately) to be fully immersed in that 24/7 pool of God's presence.  All of the crazy stuff that has happened in my and Sarah's life lately has definitely ushered us directly into that pool.  Perhaps we were thrown in to some degree.  But regardless, it's been great.  There have been few times when we've felt closer to God than right now! 

Today I got a card in the mail that was congratulating me for my move and new marriage.  The sender of the card assured me that she has been praying ardently for us, not being able to imagine how stressful it must have been for us to get married and move to a new church all at the same time.  Yet her note spoke of wisdom.  In conclusion, although she couldn't image how we are holding up, she concluded that she was sure that my joy is far outweighing any challenges that come my way. 

She's right!  My joy does prevail...when I let it.  What I suddenly realized from this note is that although I am in one of the most treasured places right now, concerning my closeness to Christ, I'm in constant danger of losing my spot.  When we're desperate, we can be desperate about the right things, but desperation can also be a wrecker of anything good.  A great deal of my desperation has transpired into prayers and requests of success in this new venture.  Success is good, but it's self serving and far from the ultimate point.  Joy, on the other hand, is rich, it is deep, and its source comes directly from intimacy with our maker.  If my desperation transpires into seeking Joy, then the rest doesn't matter.  If I seek joy in this new venture, then I can see the rest of what I do and the rest of what happens through the lens of that joy that Christ has given me.

I've been around enough to know that Joy is sweeter than any success or happiness.  So...Joy...got any plans for dinner tonight?  Lunch?  Now??  I can do now.

Amen!