They Cause Me to Wonder...

I've been a pastor long enough that I rarely can imagine what life would be like if I weren't a pastor.  It's what I know and do, and being in the ministry has mostly become the same as being alive.  All this is good!  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But from time to time, I still get those awkward squirms and losses for words when people are first told that I'm a pastor.  I love and cherish those moments!

First, people seem a little shaken.  Apparently I don't act like someone expects a pastor to act--whether they go to church or not.  I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.  I don't swing from the chandeliers or throw out swear words like compliments when I'm not at church.  But I think people have the idea that pastors are or should be serious, pious, and separate most of the time.  I'm glad to offer the surprise that I'm not.  It helps the world see that ministry/Christianity is more about living life to the fullest and highest than to the greatest restraint.  Quite frankly, I've only met a couple pastors who thought that wasn't true.

Next, I often get the "look too young" card.  "Yes, I am pretty young," I say with a warm smile.  But I assure them that I'm not a good pastor because I'm good at what I do.  I consider myself to be good because I'm good at letting God do it through me.  Other than that, I assure them I have much to learn yet.  I think we all do!

Lastly, once we're made it through the first 2 awkward moments, the third, and sometime final phase sets in. I like to call it the role-play phase.  I know for a fact that we all have a "Christian" self that we put on in our religious settings and context.  Some of us feel the need to put on bigger selves than others--and it's not always because those are the bigger sinners.  Nevertheless, quite often when people find out I'm a pastor, suddenly their language changes and the topic changes as well.  Suddenly my pizza munching, game-frenzied new acquaintance becomes a refined theologian on the loose morals and values of today's society.  It's a little humorous to see the change.  Usually I play along, not needing to go to the depths of everything I've learned in seminary and beyond.  BUT...

All of these reactions help me remember and rediscover an important question:  HOW did I become a pastor?  WHY am I a pastor?  And what does it mean to be CALLED to still be be a pastor?  So this week, on Sunday, I've decided to share a little more about how it all started, and how I ended up here!  It should be fun.

 More to come!

Jason <><

My Costume!

Thanks to several comments on Facebook about this year's upcoming Trunk or Treat, my Halloween costume has pretty much been picked for me!  I won't say what it is yet, but the staff have been told.  Suffice to say, there have been a lot of laughs around the office (it truly pays to be on staff at Horizons :-))  Sarah also has a great costume that will be unveiled this Friday.  Her's is still better than mine, but together we're sure to be an odd match.

But let me give you a little costume history for me:

Last year Sarah and I went to a party dressed as a birthday boy getting his first swing at a pinata.  I was the blindfolded boy, Sarah, wearing an outfit loaded full of paper tissues, was the pinata.  WE thought it was creative, clever, and hilarious.  Others didn't seem to get it.  Maybe we went to the wrong Halloween gathering.

A couple years earlier, when I was still in Seminary, I went to a Halloween gathering with some friends I'd known from high school.  One friend dressed as a lumber jack, the other dressed as Indiana Jones.  Both of their costumes were the hit of the gathering, while mine probably made them wish they hadn't let me get in the car that night.  In my clever, creative preparation for the night, I decided to be a serial killer.  I dressed in a blue jump suite, put vasoline in my hair, and found some crooked coke-bottle glasses to wear.  I looked creepy and imagined it was a great costume.  But as I looked around at the party, I realized "creepy" wasn't what anyone else was going for.  My poor friends had to keep assuring others that I really was a pretty cool guy...

One year I was so excited about my costume that I locked both my keys and my costume inside my car.  I was so upset when I realized that my stuffed-elephant costume could do nothing more than look back at me through the glass, not getting its one chance to change my streak of costume misfortunes.

So, I'm hoping that this year's costume goes over a little better.  It's not creepy, but rather pretty fun--and funny, if you ask me.    If I can get past locking it in the car with my keys, I think we'll be in business.

Lastly, I know that some have shunned the celebration of Halloween for its ties to pagan practices and to potentially demonic beliefs.  However, I'm happy that we as creative, God-loving people, can move past the labels and associations, and make a statement about how WE see the celebration:  a time to celebrate creativity, candy, laughs, and the changing of seasons.

We mark time together through things like this.
We add value to our lives in the ways that we share stories and comic memories of celebrations passed.
We encourage the creative sides of ourselves and process our identities through dressing up.
AND, through TRUNK OR TREAT at HORIZONS, we also have the chance to reach out to our neighbors and community and share with them who we are--both in our faith AND in our faithful world.

I prayerfully believe that we are on the right track.  Now, as far as this year's costume goes, we'll see...

More to come!!

Jason <><

Everything Obsessed?

It was close to a perfect day, and most everything had gone my way.  I was feeling so good about things.  What a shame...

Shame?  The sages of our worldly wisdom are shaking sticks at me:  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth..."

This is what happened to me last Wednesday that led me to this post:

Last night Sarah and I were given tickets to a concert that another couple was no longer able to attend.  This morning, I found a steal of a deal on a pumpkin (Sarah loves fall.  Sarah will love the pumpkin.), I found the pair of gloves I've been searching for over a week now, and consequently, I found the shorts I bought on the honeymoon and then thought I had lost forever!  I rolled up to the coffee shop, only to be awarded a free coffee that someone else decided he/she was in too much of a hurry to wait for (soy latte.  In case it was yours, sorry for the wait; thanks for the coffee).  And now I'm at the coffee shop, feeling ready and competent to tackle the world!

What a day!  and shame on me...  

I'll be thankful for this day.  I need to be.  It's a beautiful gift horse indeed!

But what about those days when not everything goes well?  What about those days when not every turn renders another unexpected blessing?  What about the days before finding my gloves and shorts that I spent obsessively and relentlessly searching, unsatisfied and unwilling to move on?

In the back of my mind, the world wasn't right again until I found those shorts and gloves.  And admittedly, the days when things don't seem to come together are the days when I have a harder time seeing how good my God is, and how alive Jesus still is, all around and within me.  Shame on me.

YET, Jesus tells a parable about the shepherd who leaves all the rest to find the one sheep that wandered off.  Jesus tells a parable about a woman who sweeps her house clean again and again until she finally finds her lost coin.  Jesus is saying, "No shame there."  Hmmm...  So now what?

Maybe, like most of us, I live in a world that is half right, and half wrong.  Half heavenly, and half hellish.  Half healing, half falling apart.  Half way to reaching Christ (finally),and  half way to our own quick, final destruction.

What I mean is that my day and my excitement reflect both the best and the worst of living my faith.  My obsession over material goods, my joy in the midst of fickle pleasures and satisfactions while the rest of the world continues to ache and hurt with REAL loss, my unwillingness to rest until something has been completed:  these aren't so good.  BUT here's the bright side.  I have the right habits.  I have the eyes to see the blessings around me.  I have what it takes to endure through the challenges in order to find what I'm looking for.  Amen!

Now I just need to refocus them.  Now I just need to make my obsession count for the kingdom.  I need to see the blessings on the days when everything good is everything that's harder to recognise.  Now I just need to wallow in the dissatisfaction of a hurting world rather than the agony of a lost pair of gloves. 

Shame on me.  But at least I'm on my way.  Jesus assures me of this.

More to come!


Jason <><

Pastor, Go Get a Vision!

As it turns out, and to my delighted surprise, I DO have a vision, a dream, a direction.  But it seems as though having a vision or being one who can set a vision and implement it is far more complex than some make it to be.

Truth be known, just like in other avenues of the working and moving world, pastors and churches also need good visions, good goals, and a clear idea of where both are headed.  Of course, the church and the leadership role of a pastor still differ greatly from the business institution and worldly leader in that faith, submission, and selflessness trump over strategy, gain, and personal rewards.  But it is also worth pointing out that if any businesses or institution, or any leader, religious or not, wishes to succeed, there must be a vision for what needs to happen.  There needs to be direction that everyone can sink their teeth (or heart) into.

I've read enough books now that I no longer think the concept is strange or foreign.  They say that a pastor with a vision is like a dog wagging his tail when someone mentions the "w-a-l-k" word.  I completely get it and agree that a pastor should have that.  Why not??  How exciting!  However, in my reading and studying, even as of fairly recently, when I came to those sections in books that pushed me to think about what my vision is for the setting that I am in, I often fell short of feeling like I had one that quickened my heartbeat and made me drool a little (or a lot).

In fact, early on here at Horizons (it's still technically early, but even earlier than now), many asked me what my vision for Horizons was.  I can still remember the uneasy feeling of thinking in my heart, "Oh no...  I'm being asked what my vision is, and I don't know if I have one."  I was a little concerned.  Will I ever have a vision for Horizons???  I hoped so.

But now the months have continued to fly, and as I continued to get more settled and geared up for what's ahead, I'm looking around at my conversations, my choices, my daydreams, and I'm shocked, and pleased, to see and feel that I have a vision.  I know now where God has called Horizons to go.  I know now what God has put on my heart and on the hearts of this ministry to accomplish and see happen.  And I'll be the first to tell you that I have needed to clean up some drool and return some lamps to the upright position!  It's exciting!  Thank goodness no heart monitors were hooked up to me recently!

So what IS my vision??  Why didn't I have one from the start??

The second comes first.  From day one at Horizons, I was told that before I could start casting my own vision, I first needed to join the church in casting their vision.  After some time, I then could begin to transition from the church's into my own.  That seemed fair enough for me.  But I realized along the way that it's not quite that simple.  Instead, the last 3 and half months of my time at Horizons has been a beautiful pouring of two vibrant and complementing colors into the same pool.

Horizons has poured all they are into my life and heart, and I'm seeing myself do the same.  I've learned much about the church, the numerous leaders and contributors, and an exciting history of miracles and efforts.  And, God bless Horizons, the church too has taken the time to learn more about me and hear about my life, dreams, and faith.  And I believe that because of this mutual pouring AND praying AND submitting our lives to God's leading, we have come to see OUR vision.  Not the church's, not mine, but GOD'S that has created for us.

I see now what Horizons has already AND what it needs.  I see now what Horizons can do AND what it needs to do more of.  I've seen where we've been AND where it is essential that we go.  I've also seen what I have that meets what Horizons can use.  I've seen how God has led me to exactly the right places along the way so that as I join Horizons, we'll have everything we'll need.  And, I've seen how we have all begun to respond and awaken to what God is doing and how God is moving at Horizons.  I have a VISION and it's ours together:  Horizons', God's, mine!

So what's my vision for Horizons?  I don't want to spill too much at once, but this is what I can say:  Horizons grew up on HOME Groups.  They've been central and core to who we have become.  Those HOME Groups are the primary way that God has kept this community alive and as vibrant as it is.  I believe in small groups, and I know that we will see them grow and flourish in even greater ways.  I also know that Horizons' Mission is NOT broken.  It is because of our mission to lead seekers and doubters to transformation in Christ that there is so much energy and hope inside and outside of these walls.  I am thrilled about our mission, and I see now that all we need to do is focus a little more on the "leading" portion.  If we all were once seekers and doubters who have been transformed in Christ, then isn't the next step for each of us to grow into the leaders who will walk with others, just as someone once walked with us?

You see?  I do have a vision!  WE have a vision:  HOME Groups and Christian Leadership--all for the transformation of our lives and others' lives in relationships with Jesus Christ.  This is just the beginning, but it's a feast we'll be long gathered at the table enjoying.

Here's to vision and the One who speaks to our hearts so that we have it!  Amen.


More to come...

Jason <><

Why I Missed the Game

What??  Jason didn't watch the Husker game?  The reason runs deeper than me being fickle, but wayward enough to be funny.

Over the years, one complaint of nearly every pastor in Nebraska is about the Husker game that happens every weekend in the worship center or sanctuary.  There is the game on Saturday, and then there is the game on Sunday to see whether the Huskers or the church can capture more of an audience.  Pastors often comment and share sentiments like this in their pastor-friend circles:

"If the Huskers lose, nobody come to church!  If the Huskers win, too much celebrating; nobody comes to church.  If it's an away game, everyone travels to the game; nobody comes to church.  If it's a night game, we might as well have church in the stadium; nobody comes to church.  If it's a byeweek, everyone is trying to get married, run marathons, and take fall trips to Ireland; nobody comes to church..."

When I'm in these circles, I chuckle and nod my head.  A lot of it is true.  But I'm not one to buy into trends like these that explain or excuse certain behaviors.  For example, they say that Pastors need to "time down" and "activity up" the sermon because attention spans are much shorter these days.  In other words, make them shorter and action packed.  But I don't buy it, and I won't employ the trend to explain why people aren't seeming to engage with my sermon.  Most of us went to see the 3+-hour marathon "Hunger Games," loved it, didn't blink the entire time, and now have it at home to watch over and over again.  People can play video games for days straight.  Are our attention spans shortening, or are we engaging in different ways?

So, I don't buy a lot of things that explain or excuse the trends.  Instead, I'm a firm believer that if church is powerful and meaningful enough, if Jesus is present and lives are truly being changed every Sunday, then heck! even the Huskers will start showing up on Sunday!  Same thing for my messages:  if they really matter, are truly guided by the Spirit, and are relevant (among other things), people won't struggle to pay attention.  It'll be Hunger Games every Sunday!

But here's why I missed watching the game on TV this last Saturday:  I bought it.  I fell into it.  As the game got going, I felt the usual panic creep in that the Huskers might not win.  I'm a firm believer that the Huskers never win in the 1st half, but when the ball fell in the third quarter and gave more points to the Badgers, here's the thought that crept into my mind:  "I can't face the agony of watching them loose.  It'll completely take all of my fire and enthusiasm away from tomorrow's message!"

They say that Nebraska's economy spikes after a win, that there are fewer cases of domestic violence, and some even claim that a victory can produce rain.  Apparently, a win or loss can EVEN affect the quality of a preachers message...  Yeah, I bought it.  But now that I've written about it here, I'm taking it back to the store.  I don't want it.

Instead, I'll keep my old mentality:  when it comes to our faith and the way we serve our living God, NOTHING should stir us or shake us from doing what we do--Pastor OR parishioner!

More to come!

J <><