It was close to a perfect day, and most everything had gone my way. I was feeling so good about things. What a shame...
Shame? The sages of our worldly wisdom are shaking sticks at me: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth..."
This is what happened to me last Wednesday that led me to this post:
Last night Sarah and I were given tickets to a concert that another couple was no longer able to attend. This morning, I found a steal of a deal on a pumpkin (Sarah loves fall. Sarah will love the pumpkin.), I found the pair of gloves I've been searching for over a week now, and consequently, I found the shorts I bought on the honeymoon and then thought I had lost forever! I rolled up to the coffee shop, only to be awarded a free coffee that someone else decided he/she was in too much of a hurry to wait for (soy latte. In case it was yours, sorry for the wait; thanks for the coffee). And now I'm at the coffee shop, feeling ready and competent to tackle the world!
What a day! and shame on me...
I'll be thankful for this day. I need to be. It's a beautiful gift horse indeed!
But what about those days when not everything goes well? What about those days when not every turn renders another unexpected blessing? What about the days before finding my gloves and shorts that I spent obsessively and relentlessly searching, unsatisfied and unwilling to move on?
In the back of my mind, the world wasn't right again until I found those shorts and gloves. And admittedly, the days when things don't seem to come together are the days when I have a harder time seeing how good my God is, and how alive Jesus still is, all around and within me. Shame on me.
YET, Jesus tells a parable about the shepherd who leaves all the rest to find the one sheep that wandered off. Jesus tells a parable about a woman who sweeps her house clean again and again until she finally finds her lost coin. Jesus is saying, "No shame there." Hmmm... So now what?
Maybe, like most of us, I live in a world that is half right, and half wrong. Half heavenly, and half hellish. Half healing, half falling apart. Half way to reaching Christ (finally),and half way to our own quick, final destruction.
What I mean is that my day and my excitement reflect both the best and the worst of living my faith. My obsession over material goods, my joy in the midst of fickle pleasures and satisfactions while the rest of the world continues to ache and hurt with REAL loss, my unwillingness to rest until something has been completed: these aren't so good. BUT here's the bright side. I have the right habits. I have the eyes to see the blessings around me. I have what it takes to endure through the challenges in order to find what I'm looking for. Amen!
Now I just need to refocus them. Now I just need to make my obsession count for the kingdom. I need to see the blessings on the days when everything good is everything that's harder to recognise. Now I just need to wallow in the dissatisfaction of a hurting world rather than the agony of a lost pair of gloves.
Shame on me. But at least I'm on my way. Jesus assures me of this.
More to come!
Jason <><
No comments:
Post a Comment