Q&A #1: Terrified! Spiders, etc.

For the next couple of blogs, I'll be sharing thoughts and responses to questions asked to me in my "listening tour."

A great question to get started with is "What are you afraid of?"

1. Spiders, snakes, squirrels, mice, other rodents, small dogs, and anything that looks like it could bite or sting pretty hard.  I know.  This list is unrealistic.  But, I have been bitten by several small dogs while making home visits.  I don't know why.  But, those bites are enough to make me afraid.  And the squirrels in Bellevue were simply aggressive.  They were terrifying.  As far as spiders go, however, I like to push myself to touch, hold, or let them crawl on me, as a small effort to confront my fears.
   
2. I have a mild aversion to those who enjoy arguing for the sake of debating a point.  It's most likely because I'm too close to the issue or care too much.  I'm afraid of getting caught crying far too much at a movie that really isn't that sad.
   
3. I'm afraid of being wrong or incompetent, or appearing as though I don't know something that I should.
   
4. As for my leadership at Horizons, my initial fear is that I won't have the proper training, force, or skill sets to be an effective leader and pastor.  But then I shake myself and realize that what I need to be afraid of is that I'll get so ingrained in the idea that the success of this ministry is on my shoulders and that I'm the one who is responsible for making it work, rather than fully submitting myself to God and working for God's glory.  God is the One who called me to Horizons, who created me and my journey leading up to this point in Horizons' ministry life.  It's not really up to me and my skill sets.  Like Paul says, when I weak, then I am made strong (2 Cor. 12:10).  Furthermore, it is God who decides how, when, and at what points on the road that Horizons will succeed.  I simply wish to offer my life as a vessel for God's work.
   
5. These are some of the things I could and would be afraid of, if it weren't for my relationship with Jesus:  not having enough money, losing my possessions to theft, misuse, or disaster, losing those close to me, getting into an accident that would severely change the course of my life, living through the next "great depression," the rapture, evil spirits, the "foreigner," etc.
   
6. These are some of the things I should be afraid of, but to my own, and especially Sarah's dismay, I am not:  getting sick from food, getting sick from shaking sick peoples' hands, getting in an accident, having to survive in the wilderness with no supplies, talking to strangers, speaking publicly when not prepared, asking for directions, blood, the sight of others' injuries, fire, expired/spoiled food, picking my nose hairs in public, singing in front of strangers, etc.
   
7. I am currently unsure whether I am afraid of what you, my reader at the moment, might think of this post or of me after finishing.  I'm afraid I'll have to get back to you on this last one.

Jason <><