Come On Church!

It's been on my heart quite a bit recently, and perhaps the best way to let it breath a little is to share it. I love worship, and I appreciate the chance to worship an various settings.  Recently however, I was struck by the words that often seem to have the most weight and energy within them during the song, and I'm not sure I'm too wild about it.  In fact, it may be one of the silent poisons the church is drinking that tastes great, yet leaves us weak and frustrated.

It's the focus on what God has done for me.  ME.  God is my redeemer, Jesus set me free, and I praise Him for what He's done in my life, for me.  I have always been aware that our current expression of faith and religious organization has been bent far more individually based than communal, just as our modern society has also grown.  Yet it hasn't bothered me much because the same God is still be praised and glorified, and in some cases, there is often much more accountability and intentionality when each individual is responsible for his or her own faith and relationship status.  

It most likely struck my heart recently as not being okay as I've felt the tug and push of the Holy Spirit calling us as Horizons, us as a family, and me personally to begin really pouring myself out to the lost and the least.  Project Hope (or extensive Orphan Care project at Horizons) is growing by leaps and bounds to include more children, we've set new long-range strategies at Horizons to grow more mature in the Spirit and lead all children and youth to Christ, and the emphasis about being vocal about Jesus with others has grown much heavier recently.  There is so much momentum and movement in the direction of pouring into others and fulfilling Jesus' great commission. 

BUT, it's difficult for a community to get behind this as our greatest goal and highest ascent when many of the songs we sing place what God has only done for me in terms of redemption, salvation, grace, provision, blessings, etc as the highest value and at the top of the journey.  It's quite possible after singing 4 songs with that focus to leave feeling fulfilled and thankful, yet entirely unmotivated to care about anyone else or feel a burden for the greater community that may still be wrestling with life.  Sure, making faith personal may be a great way to enter into a more intimate relationship, but ultimately, when there's so much pain out there in the world and so many being left behind, it should make us even more passionate about a relationship with a God who cares for those needs and not just my bad day. 

We need to consider the fact that God will always have a higher regard for communities than individuals.  From the very beginning, while God may have chosen one man to be the father of His people, God didn't choose to make a person for himself, but rather a people, a nation.  

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU THIS WEEK:  regardless of where you worship, is to change the words as you sing.  Amazing grace, how sweet thou art to save wretches like us.  Sure, it's going to feel awkward.  People may turn their heads.  But try it.  See how it instantly brings you into this great big community of people God has chosen to adore, heal, redeem, and bless.  

Amen!  More to come!

Jason <>< 

To Retire or Not to Retire

If any readers saw the title of this post and panicked, have no fear.  I'll ALWAYS be a pastor, and I'll be employed as a pastor as long as God is willing.  But my life as a DJ?  That's where I'm not sure.  

I used to be a DJ on the side of school and college.  Often I'd have a wedding or reunion every weekend.  It was a good gig.  I enjoyed it, and I usually received quit a few compliments "Best DJ ever!"  But, as college came to a close and I went into seminary, I officially decided to call my DJ days to a close.  I gave away thousands of dollars worth of lights, lasers, fog machines, controllers, and speakers to friends in ministries that could use them.  The rest of what I kept went into storage for years.  No more DJ Kennedy.  It felt sad but good.  

Then, in 2011 it happened.  A high-school friend asked me if I'd fly out to Grand Junction to DJ his wedding.  I wouldn't need to bring any equipment, just music.  Okay!  I can do THAT.  So I re-entered the DJ world, but just that once.  But then, in 2012 it happened again.  This time is was my own wedding.  Why pay for a DJ when I already have everything we need?  I asked a friend to be the emcee while I dug my remaining equipment out.  It went great!  

It had been since my own wedding in 2012 until this year that anyone mentioned my old DJ days.  Then it happened.  My sister-in-law and her fiance wanted to know if I'd consider it.  Initially I said no.  I'm really not a DJ anymore...  Eventually I caved though.  I actually wanted to do it.  Shortly after saying yes to Emily, in a completely unrelated event, my best friend who used to help me DJ in high school and college texted asking if I'd be willing to DJ for his brother-in-law.  Of course I said yes.  Why not?  What could it hurt?  I've now DJed twice this year.  Both weddings went great.  The funny thing is I've barely married more people than I've been a DJ for!  Who would've thought that would happen?

So now my two DJ gigs are finished--the last one being just this last weekend.  My mind is still a little in DJ mode--that's a great song, I'll have to make sure to add it...I'll have to see what light to purchase to replace the one that went out...new microphones...need a dolly...  But now I'm faced with the question:  Am I done with this or am I a DJ??  I've already retired twice, and neither time stuck.  I do love DJing.  I am good at it.  But it's a lot of work.  I really don't want to put all my free-time toward this.  I work enough already, and I don't need the money...

It's a difficult choice.  What does God want me to do?  What will honor him the most.  I know the answer when it comes to that perspective.  While I may from time to time get out the equipment, I am happy to wish myself a third happy retirement!  

More to come!

Jason <><

Chewing on a Big Mountain!

Today I'm back in the office after my September mountain climb.  I go with some guys from Lincoln in July as well, but this fall trip is strictly my personal climb, which is in conjunction with some meetings I have in Denver.

The results of my hike made me laugh as I own up to my own bad habits.  So often in life we tend to run around with too much on our plates--hurrying, scurrying, confusing our weeks, and rushing past the greater things in life.  Many of us, when cornered about the nature of our hectic lives, choose to place the blame on other things:  it's the kids' schedules, our jobs, this particular season, the result of spousal under-performance, the need for more money, etc.  I sometimes do that too.

But my hike Thursday told the tale of the true one to blame, at least in my situation (and quite likely, in many situations).  It's ME!

I had been looking at maps of my climb for weeks.  As the day came closer, and I looked a little closer at the mileage of my route I had pieced together, I realized I had chartered a 32-mile hike!  Even for me, that was too much.  So I reassessed and agreed with myself to hike up-and-back rather than attempt a round trip route.  I'd still be getting 16.25 miles in.  Good enough!

That decision was good enough all the way until it became decision time.  I was at the top of Mt. Antero in record time.  I was feeling good, accomplished, limber, well-hydrated, and optimistic.  From my vantage point at 14,269 feet, I could see the trail from which I came, and I could see the trail that would lead me down and around Mt. Antero.  As I stood there, my internal conflicts came rushing forward:  Stay the course Jason; it'll still be a good climb.  BUT, if you go back the way you came, you'll be down before lunch, which will be dissatisfying.  BUT, if you go back where you came from, you'll be able to meet a friend for dinner.  BUT, this other route and mileage would be EPIC!

It's easy to guess which route I chose.  I thundered down the trail leading down and around.  I don't know how I thought I'd really be able too accomplish 32 miles in one day.  I guess I just went for it.  Finally, around 4:15 in the afternoon, I had reached the paved road my car was on, and began to tackle the last 9 miles of the trek.  My body was sore, my water was low, and my feet had numerous blisters, some the size of caterpillars.  That's when the thumb came out.  Somebody please give me a ride!

After three miles of brisk trudging, a ride finally came.  As we drove to my car, the driver asked if I had gotten lost or had an emergency.  Ha!  I had contemplated what story I would tell my kind driver about not planning on needing a ride or about getting off track or lost.  But those were all lies.  All I could ultimately confess to was intentionally choosing a trail I was unlikely to finish solely by foot.  My driver laughed, but seemed a little confused (rightfully so!).

I finally arrived at my car where I slipped into sandals, took a huge drink of water waiting for me, and began my trip out of the mountains and into cell reception to tell Sarah I was alive and well.  On my way out I thought about the trip.  Why didn't I just go for 16?  BUT, that hike was awesome!...  Ultimately I concluded in my thoughts that it shouldn't surprise me the trip turned out like it did:  You know me... I told myself.  I'm never satisfied with just doing what I can.  I'm never okay with just fitting into the day what would leave with time for other things.  I'm an all-out kind of guy; it's what I do!...  And myself said in reply  Yeah, I do know you; you are that kind of guy.  But it doesn't always get you to where you want to get.  Now you're tired, you won't get dinner, and your wife hasn't heard from you.  The day's done.  Is that what you wanted?...

Oftentimes it's nobody's fault but our own when we're running ragged and overwhelmed.  Although I hate to admit it, I think it takes even MORE courage, training, and integrity to set reasonable, healthy goals than it does to take on a 32-mile hike up and around a 14,000+ feet mountain.  I wrestle with this all time.  My hope, in addition to hiking all 56 14ers someday, is to learn, one day, the skill of setting better rhythms.  That would be nice!  I also wish that to many of you, who also struggle with the same thing.  Learning this skill is well worth it!

More to come!

Jason <><