Silly Forgiveness!

It's one of the things we run from the most, whether in our faith or secular live:  accountability.  We talk about its importance and encourage each other's openness to it, but to be knee deep in the process of accountability can be less enjoying than we imagined.  Yet, I am absolutely convinced we must have it and live by it!

The other day I had the privilege of having accountability gently practiced with me.  Being the sensitive soul I am, I still had that twinge of defensiveness and momentary hurt.  Luckily, God's Spirit quickly reminded me of the rare and beautiful gift I was receiving--this guy's not trying to hurt you, demonstrate his superiority, or attack others out of his own anxiety, he's loving on you and living by God's leading.  Breathe it in!

This particular accountability partner asked out of the blue in the midst of a larger, casual conversation whether I'd had found a place to forgive a brother we're both connected to yet.  For whatever reason, God had been laying on his heart to ask me.

FORGIVE him?  I forgave him publicly, I prayed forgiveness of him to God, and I asked God to forgive him.  Easy answer:  Yes.  I'm a pastor.  I don't not forgive.  How dare you ask. The more challenging/honest answer:  apparently not entirely.  I still have ill feelings about the situation, avoid interactions with this person, and every once in a while get a twinge of pleasure when this person struggles.

Busted.   ...and THANK YOU!

See?  We need accountability.  Otherwise, I would have just continued in my half-forgiveness and let a partial sliver slowly fester into an infection causing greater issues later on.  Thank God for accountability.

So, previously believing I had the forgiveness thing mastered, I am now caught in a minor confusion of just exactly what forgiveness is.  I thought I had done a pretty good job, taken care of all the major components.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32  to "Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, and slander, along with every other evil.  Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ."

There's a lot of work to be done in forgiveness.  It's not only about going through the VERY CRUCIAL steps of lifting it up to God and professing the words of forgiveness to the other, but also about ridding one's self of all the additional muck (bitterness, slander in my heart, etc.).  It's just like the flu I had 3 weeks ago.  The virus is long gone, but I'm still coughing out the muck.

The work I need to do, that many of us need to do for FULL forgiveness is:  turn my heart from lingering bitterness to sincere concern, hope, prayer, and petitions of blessings and growth for this person.  It means moving on from being hurt to living into healing, learning, and growing.  It means genuinely saying, "I love this person."  I may not be close friends with this person again, but if I forgive him as Christ forgave me, at the very least, I am called to walk with him still and offer my compassion and support whenever he may need it.  I may even be called to reach out to him and offer continued support on his growth and transformation.

In the end, I'm thankful for accountability and the challenging gift of learning forgiveness's deeper process.  My hope is that this challenges and blesses you as well!


More to come!

Jason <><