Easter was just yesterday, and there was little doubt in the air that the resurrection is true and real for our lives! It was beautiful. But the irony is in how most of us arrive at this assurance.
If we have strong faith, and our relational life with Jesus is healthy, then, over time, it is true that doubt begins to fade and take a back seat to other more primary foundations of our faith. We eventually DO begin to live more in a life of assurance concerning the unknown and "undiscernable." This is a beautiful place for us to be!
Yet, on our way to this place in our faith, we must find a way to let doubt and uncertainty in our lives be an oar that steers and propels us rather than an anchor and an unwanted current. Doubt can be a beautiful and helpful thing.
Yesterday, as a pastor and a person of faith, I had one of the most powerful resurrection and Easter Sundays. As we joined together and celebrated something that we've been celebrating for thousands of years now, I was sure that we were also celebrating things that were being witnessed and revealed just as of NOW. There was no doubt in my mind about the resurrection or the promise that Jesus' death and new life have the capacity and the promise to change the world and release us from our captivity.
This is partially because of what God has put in my heart. When our hearts are open, longing, and yearning for truths that are beyond our own selves, and when we finally find that place of full humility, God's Spirit finally has the chance to enter into us and breathe those truths into us.
But this assurance also comes from careful and close watching for God's movement. I've been at Horizons less than 10 months still, but in this short time, I've seen God, through Jesus, bring new life and resolution into so many situations that I can hardly conceive of what is going on! It's easy to say to someone that even though God is ALL good, ALL loving, and ALL powerful, we may not see God bring redemption into our situations. It IS true, and it is a sign of spiritual maturity when we can say this freely, not as an excuse or disclaimer, but instead of a profession of God's powerful mystery.
BUT, beyond this, we also need to find a place in our lives and faith where we can tell another story as well. That story, often an addition to the first, is that I also know that God is faithful and is FULLY CAPABLE of redeeming us and our situations, that before I resolve to take it into my own hands, I instinctively believe and trust that God WILL work and move in this situation.
Ultimately, it's dance of two rhythms: knowing that God often works in ways that we cannot conceive, but also knowing that God works much more clearly and visibly when we are fully surrendering to the fact that regardless of what that work and movement looks like, God can and will be present.
And so we strive for this. But how do we get there? Luckily, the answer does not have to be 3 years in seminary and 5 in formal ministry. Instead, I find that much of the road that leads to this is paved with patches of helpful doubt. Not necessarily rejecting doubt, but doubt that reveals the heart that acknowledges its spiritual infancy and tenderness. This is that kind of doubt that draws us closer to our redeemer: God, I'm wrestling with this, and most of the fibers of my heart tell me this can't or won't change or come true. God takes that kind of doubt and embraces it. Thank you, now let's go from there, and I'll gradually show you that you CAN trust in what I have for you, for your life, for my glory.
So here's to doubt! Breathe it in, give it to God, and see how it begins to transform you.
More to come!
Jason <><
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