Denying God's Gifts

Who would ever, in their right heart or mind, deny God's gifts or blessings?  It seems when God responds to our needs and petitions, it's often after a long wait and a strenuous haul.  That moment of reception is often a sigh of relief and release of pressure that shows itself as the light of a new dawn in our lives.

So who would deny a gift from God?  Why?

Just yesterday I found myself walking down the very road of wanting to hide what God has been doing in my life.  Since coming to Horizons, our lives have been pretty intense, and 60 to 80 hours weekly is a typical week for me.

Yet, as we approach this Christmas season, a.k.a. the "busy" season, I'm finding a clear path before me minus much of the typical seasonal debris.  It's a tremendous gift from God, a moment of rest, of restoration, of building up for a new season.  Amen!

Holiday lights with my parents!

Yet, as I've considered the extra time I have, decisions have come up about how to spend it the most wisely.  My gut reaction is to fill these open hours with new tasks and future work.  My gut responses when choosing NOT to fill my time with those activities are guilt and fear.  Nevertheless, instead of simply filling my free time with other tasks and greater details in the areas I'm already working, Sarah and I have taken some time to be together.  We took any opportunity last Friday to visit my parents and celebrate my father's birthday.  We are anticipating having the chance to spend a little more time with family over Christmas and New Years.  We're genuinely excited and thankful.

Yet, yesterday at church (12/22), as people asked me how I am and how the season is going so far, my first response was to assure my inquirers I am doing well and, yes, keeping very busy in this season--to the point of being slightly, and typically overwhelmed.

But God's voice came very clearly to me in the midst of my responses:  "Really?  I'm giving you this tremendous gift, the one you've been praying for over a year now, and now that it's hear you're hiding it?"  I quickly had to change my tune and tell the truth:  God has been so good to us so far this Christmas.  I have had some extra time to be with family, to care for my wife, to ponder some deep-heart questions about the future of my ministry.  This is good, and I can't feel guilty about it.

BUT in that moment, I saw how easy it is to hide or deny the gifts God gives us.  We do this for many of the following (inappropriate) reasons:

• We feel guilty or undeserving.  It doesn't feel right to be blessed when others aren't, even though God never promised life would be fair.
• We grow afraid others will be upset we aren't using our extra time on them, and that we are being selfish, even though Jesus reminds us we can't be healthy for others if we aren't healthy for ourselves first.
• We get really used to being the victim of overwhelming situations and over-stuffed schedules, to the point it becomes our identity and our reason for needing others' constant sympathy.  It feels quite discomforting to step away from that role, even though Paul reminds us Jesus set us free for freedom, not so we can just pick up our chains again.  

So today, and for however long this season is, I'm going to share about God's work in my life and live as fully into God's gift as I possibly can.  No guilt, no fear, no need to return to my chains.  Amen!

More to come!

Jason <><